


The Curse of Men in Flannel

by DeathByUKMen, TomKurbikston



Category: Chris Evans - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-10-26 09:17:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,850
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17743136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathByUKMen/pseuds/DeathByUKMen, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomKurbikston/pseuds/TomKurbikston
Summary: In April 2011, the Marvel boys are having a team building trip in New Mexico.





	1. Plaid shirts ready!

**Author's Note:**

> This is the second joint venture between @deathbyukmen and @tomkurbikston. Thank you to our beta-reader @avenger-nerd-mom. We hope you like the boys and their jokes as much as we do.

Dressed in tour-guide uniform, which consisted of cargo pants, steel-toed hiking boots, hooded ski jacket, and her favorite flannel shirt, Campbell Goode arrived early Friday morning at the Albuquerque Studios. Before exiting the car, she briefly checked her reflection in the review mirror and tucked her brown hair back with her hands. In spite of being here for her job, she at least wished to be presentable. Her only make up was a bit of moisturizer and a transparent gloss, the basic necessities, against dry skin after hours spending outside. Her early arrival would allow her to get the luggage of her six new charges loaded into the back of her black Chevy. She intended to be sure they would be on the road to their destination as quickly as possible.

A week ago, Mr. Joss Whedon had phoned the corporate office of “Goode’s Adventures and Travel Shop”, inquiring about their teamwork offer. Her older brother took the call, and explained the details of what the full package initialed, two nights and three days in the great outdoors, with team-building exercises. Joss admitted he was employed by Marvel and needed his actors to work together as a cohesive unit. He also revealed that he wouldn’t be in attendance, but he would be leaving a parcel for the guide to open and a letter to read to the team. Right now, she rested her hand on the box and waited for her clients to appear. 

Campbell had been surprised that her brothers suggested her for this job, as they all read the comics when they were kids, except her. She was never a fan of superheroes. She preferred to stay outside, reading Jack London’s books or climbing trees. Definitely, she was ignorant in all things Marvel.  

Not far away, sitting in the stark white conference room, fidgeting in his seat, Chris Evans was excited to get a new adventure started. He had been cooped up here since six am, and he was looking forward to getting out into the great outdoors. This buddy trip was just what his restless spirit needed, before kicking off the next project. Playing Captain America was a demanding role, and the young Bostonian actor needed to unwind and recharge his batteries before throwing himself fully into the role.    

Script readthrough finally over, Evans bolted from his chair and headed towards the door.  

“Avengers Assemble!” he bellowed to his fellow cast mates as he sprinted out the door of the studios and progressed towards the waiting, tricked-out black Chevy Suburban. It was the third week in April, and the beginning of their team-building camping event.      

“Whoa Chris, wait for the rest of us.” Robert raised his shoulder with arms open, “I’m not as spry as I used to be.” He laughed.

“Come on, Grand-Pa! You seem pretty vigorous to me.”, said Chris as he excitedly slapped the older man’s torso with the palm of his muscular hand. “I see you are fully suited up, and I mean, ready for adventure in the woods.”  

“Don’t make me regret canceling my weekend of golfing, it’s not too late to go back to my clubs, Cap!” Winced Robert, stroking his chest.  

“Cheer up,” answered Chris who knew that Robert had suspended his trip to join their team-building function. It was widely known that the elder man was more inclined in having a peaceful weekend playing golf in California than spending time with his coworkers. However, according to Robert’s current facial expression, Chris understood that his colleague was glad to be part of the team and have fun with the younger fellows.   

Progressively, the rest of the cast filtered out of the studio and moved towards them. They were set for three days in the wild. Everyone had adopted a sporty casual attire, completed with old jeans or cargo pants, T-shirt and a warm flannel shirt, rounding out the outfit was a heavy waterproof jacket. Appropriate hiking shoes were added, and they looked ruggedly handsome, in their outdoor-mountain-man's clothes. 

Hemsworth, always appearing as a cool surfer, was wearing an oxbow T-shirt, so Jeremy immediately made fun of him, as well as of his singular Aussie accent. However, Hemsworth who wasn’t about to let that slide by, laughed loudly and pointed at Jeremy’s wife-beater with “Cowboys Ride’Em Harder” emblazoned across the front. “You American boys couldn’t be more cliché.” The Aussie shot back, with a gigantic toothy smile on his face.   

“It’s a gift from my girlfriend,” retorted the Californian with a duck-face smirk.

Ever the father figure and peace keeper, Mark stepped into the middle of the two bantering young men, “Wow! What did you do to that girl?” he teased. 

“Maybe I am the real Hulk in the bedroom,” winked Jeremy.  

“Yes, but I am the one who gets paid to be him,” rascally answered Mark.    

The last to arrive at the car was Tom, he was all smiles and was exhilarated to begin this adventure. “Group Hug is the perfect name for this movie and for our future exploits.” He crooned in his posh British accent. 

“Hey, Princess, you made an effort for us, thank you,” RDJ said while admiring the English man’s outfit. The short man was notorious at giving his fellow actors fun nicknames, and during this trip he was going to try to figure out a name for each of these boys.  

Robert noticed that everything Tom had put on was brand new, from the comfy shoes to the bright red plaid shirt. He even spotted a white paper label hanging from the collar, and torn it away. Holding it proudly into two fingers as a trophy, he showed it to the others. 

“Wow, I am impressed you pulled out the Land’s End Catalog and purchased your whole outfit, did you even spring for underwear?” Robert ribbed the young Brit. 

Tom not one to succumb to ribbing from friends, countered back, “What underwear?” His tone was serious, but his coy gaze betrayed him.

RDJ rolled his eyes, smirked and bantered back, “Please I don’t want to know if you’re going commando. I mean this is a get-to-know-you-trip, but that's way too much information.”  

Six actors were standing in front of the black Chevy, when the driver’s side door opened and a pretty young woman slid out of the car.  

“Good morning gentlemen, I am Campbell Goode, your guide for this weekend.” The spunky brunette smiled at the men that were staring slack jawed at her. She was used to this reaction, growing up with the name “Campbell,” most people upon meeting her for the first time naturally assumed she would be a man.    

Robert was the first to snap out of his surprised state. “Campbell? As in the soup company?” he chuckled.  

Jeremy was the next to chime in, “Campbell? As in Mmm-Mmm-Good.” He joked as he suggestively waggled his eyebrows, trying to express the double entendre.

Crossing her arms over her full chest, she stated in an exasperated tone, biting her lower lip, “OK Boys, get it all out now. Take your best shot, I have heard them all. You are not the first clever children to come up with jokes about my name.” She dropped her arms to her side and shook her head, laughing at them with a bright smile on her face that radiated her good humor about the situation.   

“However, if you are finished clowning around, we need to get on the road, it is about an hour drive north to Santa Fe, and I would like to arrive there before ten am. I hope you’ve filled your bellies with a nice breakfast and strong coffee, because we have a lot of intense activities planned until Sunday evening.” Campbell said in an authoritative voice, showing them that she was ultimately in charge.   

The boisterous actors quieted down, and rapidly filed into a single line. Before climbing into the Suburban, they greeted Campbell and introduced themselves with a smile and a handshake. Chris, Jeremy, Robert, Mark, Hemsworth and Tom, what a team! The giddiest of all was obviously Chris, who was excited to do one of his favorite activities. Naturally, he was the first to jump in, as he screamed, “Shotgun,” grabbing the front seat, the one next to the lovely guide. Robert and Jeremy exchanged an accomplice glare as RDJ, kept on overacting. 

“Hey Cap, you have no respect for the seniors. You just relegate me to the backseat with the children. Who said you’re the boss? … Unless you want to show off who’s the strongest?” 

“Grand-Pa, I thought you needed a safety seat,” chuckled Chris. 

Climbing into the driver’s seat, Campbell clearly captured the blatant mood of the weekend, boys together are always competing and shooting jabs at each other. She breathed deeply to gain a bit of courage.  

“Speaking about safety,” she interrupted the kid’s banter. “I will have to give you some rules about our expedition. First and most important of these is that I am primarily responsible for your well-being! I have been entrusted that I will have you all back Sunday night, in the same condition as I picked you up in. Second rule is that you will not put yourselves into any unnecessary risky situations. And finally, if you have any questions about the previous two rules, then you are not smart enough to be on this adventure, you can get out of the car now. So, we understand each other, you will have to follow them scrupulously. Now that’s finished one other thing before we start the weekend, Mr. Whedon left a letter for you and a box. Chris would you mind taking care of this?” 

“Sure Babe! OK guys, so apparently I have been designated as the boss after all.” 

“Whoa!  Whoa!  Wait a minute! Babe!  What am I, a cute little pink pig? No… I am not, you may call me Miss Goode, Campbell or even ‘Boss-Lady,” she stated, keeping her attention to driving.   

Chris blushed as he was put into place by the feisty guide. RDJ piped up, “Oh look, Cap is turning all the shades of red. I like her fiery spirit!” 

“Yes, Capcicle, has been iced by a pretty girl,” said Mark. 

Chris, searching for getting the attention off of himself and his chastising, moved to the task he had been assigned moments ago.  

As a kid, he always opened the box first, he discovered six navy-blue caps, embroidered with a red “Avengers” logo. He took one for himself and threw the rest to five pairs of outstretched arms. The boys simultaneously performed the same gesture, they brushed their hair back with their hand and placed the hat firmly on their head. When Chris checked his reflection in the review mirror, Hemsworth searched for his phone to see himself in the screen, RDJ tried to steal the Australian’s mobile, and Tom asked, “How do I look?” 

While they jiggled at the back, Chris employed a serious tone and read the note out loud. 

_Avengers Assemble,_

_My dear team, it is the beginning of an incredible adventure. I am looking forward to working with you on this fabulously epic movie. Most of you have been there before and understand the big machine that is a Marvel enterprise, but Marvel is also a human venture, a little family. This weekend is the appropriate opportunity to get to know each other. Your guide and I have concocted a rustic and challenging experience. While the girls are relaxing in a prestigious SPA—lucky them—you will be hiking, rock climbing, camping and team-building activities, so much to look for and use your natural superpowers. You are expected to work as a team, but you will have to form pairs. So please, don’t mistreat our villain yet, he might be useful._

_As you may have noticed, Sam and Clark are missing, they couldn’t be with you, as the first is going to his daughter’s wedding and the other will assist his wife’s birthday. They send their best wishes._

_I hope you will have a wonderful weekend and I’ll see you on Monday for the start of the next big adventure._

_Your fearless leader,_

_Joss_

Between two loud smacks on his gum, Hemsworth shouted at Tom, “Hey Mate, are you sure you wanna come with us or would you rather join the girls at the posh SPA?” 

“If Joss thought he needed to mention it in the letter, to prevent you from killing me, maybe I should,” said a crestfallen Tom. 

“Don’t worry Tom, I’ll protect you from those punks,” answered Mark with a comforting hand patting Tom’s shoulder, “I’ll hulk-smash you later…” 

“Mark!” barked Jeremy, as he hit him with the back of his hand. “Spoiler alert!” Which caused the others to snicker loudly.

“Oh Fuck, I don’t want to get fired before we even started!” Cringed Mark. 

“Guys, no need to censor yourselves I signed a nondisclosure agreement, and frankly I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” The guide makes a fast check into the review mirror, enjoying the good-natured ribbing over her companions for the weekend

Once the laughter subsided, Campbell provided them with the safety information while she kept her eyes on the road. They diligently listened to her, fully aware about insurance issues and production problems if they were to get injured and wouldn’t be available to act in the following weeks. Then, she had to answer their inquisitive and numerous questions. She managed to satisfy their curiosity while still maintaining suspense about the trip. As they had to transport the necessary items for their accommodation, they would receive a tent for two, sleeping bags, food, water and various equipment and they had to distribute the weight and their strengths. 

Everyone wanted to team with the Chris’s, they evidently struck the team as the toughest, most capable. Campbell suggested that she would choose for them as she had no preconceived notions. Hemsworth and Mark would share a tent and they seemed to be pleased with this idea. Jeremy high-fived RDJ when he learned he would be his tent mate. 

“Welcome to the dark side, Robert.” The younger man joked. 

“Oh my God, really! I will pair with Captain! Oh my God!” Tom expressed, trying to do an impression of Evans, which everyone cheerfully applauded. 

TO BE CONTINUED...


	2. Plaid Shirts’ Bets

An hour after the departure, the SUV pulled into an empty parking lot, as the ski season was over on Santa Fe. Once the car stopped, they rushed out of the vehicle to get themselves ready for hiking. They unloaded the trunk, tied their shoes again and drank water. Grabbing their packs, they slung them onto their backs and were excited to get going. 

Campbell noted that they came across as a real team. In addition to their Avenger’s cap, they were all wearing similar flannel shirts with the same pattern, but different colors. Regardless, ever the rebel, Robert had added his own fashion flair, and put on his vintage Black Sabbath T-shirt on top of a gray Henley shirt. Mark was the first to comment on it. 

“Nice shirt, Robert. Do you think the youngsters of the group even know who they are?” He asked tapping the logo.

“Iron Man lives!” shouted RDJ as he grinned from ear to ear doing devil’s horns with his fingers in the air. 

“I love that song, I used to play it in my band.” Jeremy, humming the melody, volunteered the random bit of information about himself. 

Chris, Tom and Hemsworth standing there with confused looks on their faces. Robert took pity on them and answered. “For those of you that were still in diapers during this time—Black Sabbath was a heavy metal band from the late sixties, seventies and early eighties. Famous for their song Iron Man,” he liked being knowledgeable of something over the younger boys.   

“Hey, I might have been a toddler at that period, but I was not living under a rock, I do know who they are.” Said Tom.

“Robert, I believe I got a brilliant idea!  I bet you $100, that you can’t get Tony Stark to wear that shirt in the movie!” challenged Renner. 

“Man, you are on! If I lose, and can’t get Whedon to keep this T-shirt in the final cut, at some point, I’ll pay you $100… But if I win, you get to be my caddie for my next golf outing.” Robert paused, tapping his lip in thought. “Get ready, Legolas, golf clubs are not arrows in a quiver, so you better bulk up so you could make it through all eighteen holes carting my clubs around!”  

“You are already doomed, Jeremy.” Said Mark rolling his eyes, “You haven’t the slightest idea of what this man is capable of. He is Tony Stark after all!” 

RDJ laughed loudly showing all his teeth and applauded Mark. “See Evans, I am the only true boss when important things are involved!” 

“That’s what we will see, try to follow the pace, Pappy!” Declared Chris in full motion, swiping the air with his hands. He had his backpack on, and had started to walk with large steps, away from the car heading due south. 

“Chris!” shouted Campbell indicating her left, “I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you may want to go in the other direction, you know, away from the cliffs edge.”  

The whole team cackled out laughing, and Chris couldn’t help by making fun of himself either. He slammed his chest with his palm and chuckled. “I forgot Captain can’t fly!” 

Campbell was beginning to like these dorks, they enjoyed a bit of thrills and they were getting along really well. She giggled with them as she was engulfed into their joyfulness. Unbeknownst to her, she was closely observed by six attractive actors who couldn’t resist seeing her twitching her nose and her shoulders shaking lightly while she laughed. She looked up to see six pairs of eyes watching her. She stopped and informed them that she needed to make a phone call to report into her office before they head out to the camp site. She waved them an apology and proceeded further into the parking lots to have some privacy.  

As she walked away, she didn’t overhear Chris saying, “She is pretty cute!”  

“A-Ah! Busted!” exclaimed Mark, a finger pointed under Chris’s nose. 

“Oh, come on, you all would have to be blind not to have noticed her!” said Chris. 

“She is simply stunning.” Tom said with a dreamy look in his eyes. 

“Oh, this is interesting?” Robert amused. “The two single boys, taking note of the beautiful girl. I smell a bet is brewing.”  

“Yes, which will win Campbell’s heart?” Jeremy teased with a flourish of his hands. 

Mark butted into the conversation, “Let’s keep this classy, boys! She deserves that much.”   

“Of course, we are nothing if not a bunch of classy guys.” Hemsworth oozed smarminess. “The bet would be, the first boy that gets to kiss her wins … and no faking that you need mouth to mouth, or teaching how to perform a movie kiss, that wouldn’t count. The winner would have bragging rights as the true man of the group…”  

“Brother, are you sure it is a proper idea? I don’t feel comfortable about this.” Tom emphasized his concerns by pursing his lips and squeezing his chin in his hand.  

“It’s just a kiss, and you don’t have to lie or play with her. Loki would certainly do far worst. It’s an ideal moment to get yourself back in the role, have fun and do what you want,” cajoled Hemsworth.  

“I’m in,” confirmed Chris, “Let’s see if she prefers Boston over London! I would be stoked to kiss her. I’ll do my best, so she’ll enjoy it.”  

“I am fond of you, Chris. However, on this matter, I am sure that Brit Gentlemen are better kissers. I am willing to stake on Tom,” said Mark.  “One hundred percent with you, Mate,” added Hemsworth, “I will endorse my brother from another mother ’till Ragnarok.”  

“Thanks for your consideration, Lads!” Smiled Tom.  

“If you want to play it like that, I will definitely support Captain. RDJ are you with me?” Jeremy turned to Robert with a hand up waiting for a high-five, that was directly followed. 

“Fuck yes! Three against three and may the best win.” RDJ then proposed, “The losers will be our slaves for one week on the set.”  

Caught up in their conspiracy, the six henchmen didn’t detect the lovely guide coming back from her phone call this swiftly. They missed seeing her smile gradually fading from her face. Little by little, her elated spirit had vanished to leave places to anger and disillusion. She heard the end of their conversation! Those assholes had gambled on her. Who would be the best kisser? If they expected to find out, they would be extremely disappointed. She would not be that easy, and shit, she was just starting to like these boys and was impatient to spend time with them. They may look all rugged and sexy in their plaid shirt, but after all they are just big brats. That must be the curse of men in flannel! Ultimately, every man turns out to be a gigantic-dumb-Neanderthal!  Suddenly, this weekend struck to be endless. She told herself that if they wanted to play, play she would, and she always played to win. She would make sure they would regret that!  

Gathering herself, she put on her game-face as she cleared her throat to speak. “OK, guys, are you ready? We need to be at the lunch area in two hours. You’d better hurry and walk briskly,” said Campbell with a fake smile, as obviously nobody expected them there. She was a trained guide, let’s see if they are as athletic as they pretended.  

The last of them was adjusting the straps of his bag, when they noticed, that she was already five meters in front of them, walking with wide steps. She may be petite, but she was damn fast.  

Tom eyed Chris with a concerned stare, bent close to Hemsworth and whispered. “Do you think she overheard us?” He was slightly uncomfortable.  

“I hope not!” murmured the Australian throwing away his gum, “But if she did, I guess she would probably have yelled at us.” 

As the group moved forward, they noticed the direction they were headed, it was a wide earthy path through a grass field which was dug by thousands of hikers’ feet that stepped before them. The way was flat and not difficult. Progressively, the passage began to be narrower, so they had to form a line behind their guide who maintained a brisk and even pace. Soon they arrived at a wooded thicket where they had to zigzag between the pine trees on the sloping hillsides. The trees didn't provide a lot of branches to hang from, to prevent from slipping. The six men tried to keep their head high and followed the woman, too proud to admit they were suffering. Oddly, they stopped swaging and telling jokes. In fact, she had managed to shut them up. They were breathless, too breathless to even complain.  

Campbell noticed that this unique silence left time for more internal debate. At her age, she didn’t expect to be the subject of a childish bet. She nearly regretted to have accepted this contract. She was truly exasperated and needed to calm down before her irritation caused her to neglect her charge: six suckers!  

At least, she remembered that she had to stay professional. After an hour of intensive walking on the inclined foothills, she offered a break, a welcome moment to rest feet, grab a snack and drink some fresh water. The temperature under the shadows of the trees was rather chilly. A few piles of snow lingered. Although, the hikers appeared sweaty in their flannels. Currently, their spot on the mountain, far away from any living human being, gifted them with an amazing view over a sea of pines, the Pecos Wilderness. In the distance, more massifs pierced through. It was a perfect timing for photos. Robert grabbed his phone from his bag and suggested a group selfie.   

“Sorry Mate, I didn’t bring the selfie stick,” commented Hemsworth.  

“Point break, you are incurably useless!” scornfully announced RDJ, “Hey, Boss-Lady! Would you mind taking a picture of us?”  

“How much do you pay?” asked Campbell. 

“What about my eternal gratitude?” grinned Robert with the balmiest smile he could act. All in all, he had a long career and two Oscar nominations. 

The young woman held a deep breath and seize the phone. “What’s your movie called again?”   

“Avengers!” The boys chorused. And click, the portrait was in the can.  

After this little interruption, Campbell prompt them to keep on moving. However, she decided to proceed slower. If she had to bear these men for three days through a lot of intense sporty activities, she wouldn’t exhaust them only after one hour. There was so much way to go.  

As the day passed by, she learned each of the boys’ quirks. Jeremy was an unstoppable singer, who at least could carry a tune. Mark was more silent and reserved, behaving like a typical protective dad, who could also jostle the kids. The Chris’s were tireless jocks, competing about every aspect of their past and present athletic experiences. Robert was witty and sassy, always finding a failure in his opponents, turning it into a quip or a nickname. Tom’s accent made him look smart and snobbish, but he did impressions of everything and anyone all the time, and was rather hilarious. Their jokes and jabs at each other, although little a harsh, were never mean. So obviously, they often laughed and were quite entertaining. They had one thing in common, they con-stant-ly challenged each other and wagering.  

Speaking about challenges, Mark managed to carry his bag and Jeremy’s for the whole afternoon, after he lost a dare against the Californian guy, during their lunch break. They bet that Mark wasn’t able to execute the choreography of Michael Jackson’s Thriller that he had done alongside Jennifer Gardner, in a movie. He had indeed forgotten some moves and certainly didn’t perform the dance as the King of Pop would. He undeniably looked more like a lame Bambi dazed alone in the forests of New Mexico.  

During the same break, Robert defied Tom to stand on the wooden table and claim a whole monologue of Shakespeare. He also had to receive applause from the crowd of backpackers nearby. The British actor fulfilled his task like a charm by declaring St-Crispin Day’s speech from Henri V. Even if Hemsworth standing ovation passed for cheating, Robert had to show him respect and called him Lord Hiddleston until the end of the weekend.  

Mark expressed his frustration like an upset kid tapping his foot on the ground, when he lost his second bet. He wasn’t really kin to apply foot cream to the fastest to climb a rock wall. In spite that he received the help of the Chris’s and advice of Tom who secured him, he was far too unexperienced. But, to everybody’s surprise, Jeremy was the swifter to join the top, followed by Robert and Tom. The Chris’s wasted too much time, comparing their muscular arms and parading. As a matter of fact, everyone showed off in front of the guide, especially Tom and his elegant gestures, as well as Chris and his hefty body.  

At Winsor Creek, they couldn’t help babbling about the bushes and butterflies surrounding them. Obviously, this chatter was just full of innuendoes and double meanings. As a result, they didn’t catch any fish at all. They were actually supposed to fish their evening dinner and grilled it on the fire. Campbell was able to fetch two trouts, just enough for her appetite. The winning price was a massage with sun cream. Of course, they all volunteered to have the privilege to give Campbell this treat. Somehow, Tom and Chris were particularly insistent. She refused and stated that she would even keep her fishes for herself. She withheld to tell them that she brought plenty of food with her.  

In the evening, she didn’t need to push them to pitch their tents. Indeed, the first pair to finish would win a lunch at a local Albuquerque restaurant—Chili’s, an idea of Tom. Chris pushed his partner to build it faster, but the English wasn’t an expert camper, and Chris got irritated. The duo lost. Robert and Jeremy didn’t stop fighting, yet they ended only five minutes after Mark and Hemsworth. The big winners gloated and teased the four others. 

When Campbell put out cans of beans, sausages and vegetables to warm up over a fire camp, they were all too starving to set another dare while they had to collect dry woods. Hemsworth stole nearly all the meat, arguing that his body needed proteins. Everyone ripped him apart, calling him a naughty sausage, as they would all depended on a fair ratio of protein, except Mark who didn’t want to miss the most savory bits. 

After this solid meal, the group of six tired men sat lazily around the fire, all content with the way their camping trip was going as yet. 

Hemsworth spouted, “Well mates, we survived our first day. Let’s celebrate.” He raised his drink in salute to the team.   

“Yes, here, here.” Cheered his fellow cast members, as they lifted their cups in the same manner. 

Campbell joined in the merriment, still cautious of the men, she had not forgotten that they all gambled on her. Who does that, she thought? They may likely be men, but they still act like boys, they might all suffer from the dreaded “Peter Pan Syndrome,” afraid to grow up. Lost in her mind, she didn’t hear Chris questioning her. 

“Campbell, what’s next on our agenda?” Chris turned to the right and asked the pretty woman sitting next to him. When she didn’t answer or acknowledge him, he tried to surprise her.

“Boo!” he screamed to her ears. The young guide jumped on her seat, drew a quick breath and held her chest with a hand. 

“God Chris, you scared me!”

Chris laughter at her and eventually smiled and gallantly apologized, “Oh sorry, Campbell…. But Boss-Lady, what is next on our agenda?” he asked with a gentle nudging of his shoulder.

“Sorry, gentlemen. Seems like you have done me in. We have concluded our scheduled events for the day. However, it is too early to turn in yet. How about having a little fun? Have you all played the party game, two truths and a lie, before? It would be a way to figure out more about each other. And since you appear to like a bit of betting, the losers get to cook breakfast in the morning for the winner.” She threw out the challenge, knowing these men could not back down from the bait. She has learned that much in twelve hours she has spent with them. 

“I will even go first.” She cooed at them, realizing she had each and every one of them in for the game. 

“Okay, let’s see. I am the youngest of five siblings and the only girl.” She ticked off her statements on her hand. “I was named after the soup company.” She counted again with her fingers. “And last, I have broken my arm three times.” She dropped her hands and eyed over the men around the fire. “Okay, who believes they know me?” she threw down the gauntlet. 

Cocky as ever, Jeremy barked out… “Well, let’s look at this logically. You are tough, see what you do for a living, so I am thinking that having broken your arm is true. Also, the fact that you would have four older brothers would help adding to your tenacity. I am thinking that no mom would name their daughter Campbell after the soup company.” He said confidently. 

“Any other takers, who else has a guess… You all need to guess so that we can have a winner.” She goaded them. 

All the actors took their turns answering and agreed with Jeremy, the one about being called after the soup company sounds the most outrageous, so that one must be the lie.   

Smiling, as she knew, she scored this round as not one of them was correct.  

“Sorry to disappoint you guys. But the lie here is that I have never broken my arm, actually, I have never broken a single bone. Truth, I do have four older brothers and a mother with a witty sense of humor, she named us after what she happened to crave during her pregnancy. Someday, you will have to meet my brothers: Brock, Jay, Miller and Rocky. In fact, they work with me.”

“Brock, Jay, Miller and Rocky?  You have to tell us what they were dubbed after.” Robert inquired, burning to find out more. 

“Well, when Mom was pregnant with her first child, she couldn’t get enough of Brach’s chocolate stars, she would send Dad out at all hours of the night to the convenience store to buy a box. Next, we have Jay, after Jay’s potato chips. Dad tried to sneak in Lay’s potato chips once. Mom could taste the difference and made him sleep on the couch for a week.” She giggled at her retelling of how her brothers earn their names.   

“Miller was called after the beer. Dad put his foot down for this craving, much to Mom’s disappointment. Even though, she understood it was for her baby’s health, she was a bear to live with during this pregnancy according to Dad. Last of the brothers is Rocky, for her favourite flavor, rocky road ice cream. I was a surprise. Mom started craving Campbell’s tomato soup, she couldn’t get enough of it, and a month later she found out she was expecting me. Campbell isn’t bad, guess it could be worse. I am just glad she wasn't craving pickles.” 

“Pickles Goode—we have a nickname…. Pickles.” RDJ raise his arm in triumph. Oh yes, giving friends nicknames was his thing!   

Campbell smirked at the dashing elder man. “Pickles, huh…. Well, I hope you don't mean that I am small, salty and sour…”  

“No! No, it is more like you’re a perfect blend of sweet and spicy. You are kind of a big dill!” Robert smiled and wiggled his eyebrows, impressed with his own witty self, and his play on the word “deal/dill.”   

She considered it and replied, “Okay, Pickles … you may add that “tag” to the list of what you’re allowed to call me.” She emphasized the word by mimicking double quotes with her fingers. “However, if I hear any of you teasing me about how good I taste, or how you are craving a pickle, or any such nonsense... Just remember, I am supplying your food.” She laughed with an evil grin on her face.

 

TO BE CONTINUED...


	3. Plaid Shirts’ Game On!

Night had begun to fall on the camp site at Lake Katherine, and the temperature was threatening to drop low. Nonetheless the six actors and their lovely guide were still surrounding the blazing fire, bundled up in their quilted jackets, shoulders lifted and hands in their pockets. They were obviously too thrilled to stop their game. Campbell—Pickles from now on— might have won the first round, yet they all wished to beat her. As the speculations proceeded, Tom was next. He considered his possibilities for a while and then said, “I went to school with a prince, I can speak four languages and I am a middle child.” He talked so fast that Campbell had a hard time hearing his three statements. 

“Mates, I will be the last to answer this, as I worked with Tom before and it wouldn't be fair.  I know which one is wrong.” Hemsworth loudly announced. 

One after another, the boys went around sharing which statement, they thought was the lie. Campbell used basic detective skills, she figured that the lanky Brit was rather educated due to his speech and mannerisms. Moreover, Tom’s need to be an actor in order to stand out, was likely middle-child-syndrome. So, she deduced that the first and final facts were correct. She concluded that declaring only four languages was probably just being modest, and she was certain the number was actually higher than just four. She voiced her answer with confidence, “I think that you, Tom, learned more than four languages.” 

Hemsworth chuckled, “Pickles, you are very perceptive, I will have said the same, as I know for a fact Tom can speak at least nine different languages, maybe not all fluently though. 

Jeremy said, “Yes, Boss-Lady, you are kicking our asses. I am afraid that with only one of us left to go, none of us can win.” 

As the game continued, Campbell nailed them one by one, well nearly. Despite the imagination of the actors to hide the fiction in two astonishing truths, her intuitions were spotting on. The possibilities that Hemsworth was bitten by a shark were unlikely, compared to the fact he worked for a surf-wear shop, and that his child nickname was Kip, a detail that RDJ kept in mind for future use.  

She could tell that Mark hadn’t truly been haunted by a ghost, it only happened in a movie. She remembered seeing it when it came out in the theaters, and this reminded her that these men were paid to lie. Surprisingly, he effectively had three siblings, who were all hairdressers, and auditioned more than 800 times before getting a role.  

As for Jeremy, he studied criminology and worked as a make-up artist, but was never cast as a cop in CSI, in spite of playing in one episode.  

Evans was more difficult to guess. His uncle was a congressman, he could tap dance, and proved it. However, he wasn’t nominated cutest teenager in Massachusetts. 

Only Robert managed to fool her, after a long deliberation. She couldn’t picture him, even at ten-year-old boy, as a ballet dancer. Fortunately, he was too proud to have tricked everyone to take offense that they all viewed him as a criminal and alcoholic, which had been true. Once drunk, he crashed in his neighbors house believing it was his own house, but he had never been arrested for assault.  

They admitted defeat, and that they would have to prepare breakfast for her, the next morning. After a few objections, Robert agreed to help his fellow partners, as he didn’t find as many good answers as her. So, she explained and showed them how to make hot coffee with filtered water. Fruits, toast and cereal bars didn’t need any specific preparation. 

Within no time, everybody started to yawn. This long day had won them over. Exhausted and rather cold, despite their packed position around the flames to defeat the chilly mountain air of the night, they sought to lie warm in their sleeping bag. They left to go under their tent. Campbell ensured that the campfire was extinguished before retiring for the evening. Comfortably resting in her shelter, Campbell relished her only moment of peace and quiet in the day. She drifted off to sleep only a few minutes after she heard the deep breaths of her clients. During the night, she wasn’t even disturbed by RDJ’s snoring and Jeremy’s constant complains, who repetitively  jostled his tentmate to wake him up.  

The next morning, she was the first to awaken. She was accustomed to getting up before dawn, listening to birds and the wildlife starting to revive. Anyway, she stayed tugged in her sleeping bag, intending to let the six losers completing their task, breakfast. She perceived whispers and quiet moves outside. They seemed to straighten out. Somebody was distinctly blowing on the cold fire to rekindle it. She could detect wood logs tossed on it. A tin can was opened as metallic noise jingled. Soon, she smelled the wonderful aroma of hot coffee and toasted bread. She prayed that they wouldn’t leave it too long on the fire, there’s nothing worst than burned toast. Everything sounded so welcoming except a weird groan. Jeremy rumbled over RDJ who tried to pull him out of the tent. The poor man had just found his sleep.  

Footsteps approached her tent, and a husky English voice said, “Knock-knock. Lady-Boss it’s time to wake up. Your breakfast is served, Milady.”  

At the campsite, they ate with appetite, knowing that the day would be demanding again. They didn’t waste time to pack their material and hit the road. More hiking in the woods and on the hills was planned for today. They had to make it to Spirit Lake before the evening. Another lake where more activities waited them, as promised by Campbell.  

The hours seemed to flow fast. The seven trekkers pursued on a narrow trail along the mountain, across more forests and grassy fields. The sun escorted them during the whole trip and fortified their happy mood. The team spirit was already deep, and they performed various team building exercises with giddiness. Campbell had concocted some trust games. One had to let himself fall back when the other had to catch him, or one had blind eyes and was led by his partner’s voice through obstacles. They gladly took part in, and had a lot of laughs as they never forget to sting each other. Not even Jeremy’s moody temper, due to his lack of sleep, would have been able to shade the ambience. This weekend was already a success.  

Reaching Spirit Lake, everyone was looking forward to having a long break. However, they needed to prepare the camp. On a beach along the modest lake, they found the perfect spot to set up the tents and the fire. Of course, that was the prefect occasion for revenge, and once more, they competed to build their shelter. This time, Chris didn’t want to be an underdog, so he put pressure on Tom to finish in the lead. And they did it!  

Then, everyone was assigned to a specific task. Some had to bring water, other to prepare the fire or the food. Chris decided to collect wood, this job seemed manageable as a dead white fir lied on the sand close by. It was an unexpected resource. Nevertheless, breaking the branches was more physical than he foresaw. It required an axe, but he only had his bare hands. He asked for help, and they all grouped around the trees.   

Hemsworth said stretching his arms, “Hey Mate, you’re doing it wrong. Let me show you.”   

Clearly, it was a tentative to lead the troop by showing off again, which was followed by another friendly competition. Who could cut more wood from this tree? After whining every five minutes about Robert’s noisy snores, Jeremy had eventually forgiven him, so they teamed up to tear a branch. But Mark gave up as the Chris’s rolled up their T-shirt sleeves and attacked the limbs. Campbell couldn’t help to admire the attention that Chris put in his mission. His whole body was massively built, and his muscles chiseled like a Greek statue. Definitely, one of her wooers was a gorgeous and bulky man. She could have dreamt worst.   

Tom on his side, as a true competitor, only grabbed the small branches left on the ground. With this brilliant idea, he gathered enough wood within no time. He sought Campbell for matches and, with her aid, he lit the fire. He sat on a rock around the burning area and called the others, bragging.  

“Gentlemen, when one of you would want to warm up, you will be welcome.” He teased with a large cheesy grin on his face. 

“You might need this to maintain the fire,” said Chris, who wouldn’t be defeated that easily. Indeed, he was carrying a long and thick branch in his arms. 

“Thank you, Chris,” answered Campbell with a wicked smile, “But not everything is a question of size, you know! The limb is too long to fit in the fire. You might need to cut it in half.” 

“Anything to please you, Lady-Boss.” He winked at the pretty guide. 

The evening was rather balmy for the end of April. This Saturday had been sunny, and the remaining snow had almost completely melted. However, the six men sat around the warm and comfortable campfire recounting the day’s events. Laughing at each other’s antics, drinking toasts and wondering out loud what Campbell had in store for them tonight. During this time, the woman looked over from the doorway of her tent, grinned as she watched them clowning around. She had left the boys by the fire while she went to get the surprise dessert from her backpack.  

“Who’s up for some sweet chocolate and gooey marshmallow goodness?” She sang out as she held the prize goodies up over her head.  As she walked towards the fire, she witnessed six heads turning to her cartoon-like, with eyes wide open and gigantic childlike grins plastered on their faces. The image was complete with six pairs of arms extended with grabby hands and the murmurs of ’gimmie-gimmie-gimmie.’  

“Make some room boys, so our Lady-Boss can join us.” Mark called out to the group. She noticed that Chris and Tom scooted apart from each other, making space for her between them. Perfect she thought, just the men who were tasked to get her to kiss them. She smelled a rat, well she knew something they didn’t, she knew about the childish bet. All day long, the poor pair had tried to catch her attention, and she took pleasure in defeating each of the attempts. Yet, they looked ridiculously cute. 

She made her way to the open spot, and before her butt hit the rocks, Jeremy blurted out, “Who wants to play truth or dare?” 

He thought he was being cunning, he hoped that if he could drag Campbell to play, he would challenge her to kiss Evans, as both Chris and Tom were not going anywhere with the beautiful guide by themselves. He felt he needed to step in, and get a winner.   

With everyone’s agreement, they began the game as they started to roast the marshmallows. “Since I suggested this, how about if I go first.”  Jeremy said. “OK, I will ask Tom—truth or dare?”  

Without looking up from the fire, Tom answered, “Truth.” 

“Which bad habit do you have?” Once more, Jeremy calculated that perhaps if Tom revealed something not flattering about himself, it could steer Campbell’s affection away from him and push her towards Chris.   

Tom raised his eyes from the flames and considered the question. “I guess I would have to say that I am a bit of a hypocrite. I mean I believe in punctuality, but recently being so busy, I tend to run late.”   

Jeremy took what Tom said and ensured he used this to his advantage. “So, Tom would that mean you would make your girlfriend wait by showing up late for your date?” 

Tom agilely did some back-peddling, as he figured out what Jeremy was doing. “Oh no, I am never late for work or if I have a date with that someone treasured in my life. I make sure that person has no doubt that she is a priority. OK, enough about my bad habits. Chris, truth or dare?” 

His mouth filled with a marshmallow, Chris smiled as he answered, “Truth.” 

“Can you give us a secret you have kept from your parents?” Tom requested, as he was planning on putting Chris in the same position as he previously was. 

“Wow, that is a good question, but I am an open book with my family. Hell, I told my mom when I lost my virginity, so I can say honestly, I don’t have any secrets from my folks.”  Chris laughed and shook his head as he answered. 

Now, it was Chris’s turn, he wanted to ask Campbell, but he didn’t wish to draw attention to the fact that he was really starting to like her. “Mark, truth or dare?” 

Without thinking Mark barked out, “Dare!” 

Hemsworth let out a loud whoop, “Yes, leave it to ‘Dad’ to be the first and strongest to pick dare.” 

“Get down on one knee and propose to the person on your left like you proposed to your wife.” Chris voiced the challenge. 

Robert was on Mark’s left, and he quickly jumped into character. “Mark sweetie, is there something special you want to ask me my dear?” Batting his eyes and grinning lovingly at his friend.   

Mark swiftly got down on one knee and proceeded to re-enact his and Sunny’s proposal. Sitting back on his rock, he looked across the fire towards the tall Aussie. “Hey! Hemsworth, Truth or Dare?” 

Hemsworth was caught off guard and with his mouth full of chocolaty, gooey, crunchy goodness he spurts out, “Dare!” 

“All right! Check your phone and the last person you texted, tell us the sexiest thing about that person?” Mark chuckled as he was mentally congratulating himself with what he thought was a cleaver dare.   

Hemsworth grabbed his cellphone from his back pocket read his messages, as luck would have it, his last text was to his wife. “This is easy as there are so many sexy qualities about Elsa, where to even start?” he boasted. 

“Boo, that is weak, he needs another dare,” screamed Jeremy. 

“Nope, it was the luck of the draw!” Robert said as he was about to bite on a melting roasted candy. “Let’s go ‘Point-Break’ pick your victim.”   

“Come on Campbell, don’t be chicken, truth or dare?”  Hemsworth bellowed. 

“Campbell chicken soup, haha, very funny.” But she was expecting for her turn. “Truth,” she said waiting for the question from the colossal man across the campfire.   

“Are you currently in a relationship?” He asked, hoping that she was single, so his brother from another mother was free to make his move. Hemsworth knew Tom well, and knew that he would never put the moves on her if she was dating someone.  Indeed, his inquiry was strategic.  

Campbell blushed as she looked around the circle of men, she understood why this was directed at her. She shyly smiled and brushed the hair from her face, tucking it behind her right ear. “Uh, I am in between relationships at the moment.” 

Chris and Tom consulted each other and silently nodded, letting the other understand, “game on.” 

As the evening went on, the competition got increasingly raunchier. Campbell found herself blushing and the focus of many of the invasive questions. Questions like, “What’s your number? What sex act would you never do? When was the last time you masturbated? What about a having a threesome?” Not only did the interrogations grow more embarrassing, so did the dares. She watched Hemsworth strip naked and dance on the beach. Renner stripped naked and had to run around the campfire. There was a lot of male nakedness that night, and a lot marshmallows wolfed down.

RDJ was challenged to full-mouth kiss Tom who decided to escape his opponent and flee as far as he could. Robert wasn’t as trained as him, but he was damn nimble. Tom slalomed through the rocks and the tents and ultimately leaped over the fire. Yet, one of his shoelaces burst into flames. They all witness a speedy Tom hurrying into the glacial lake, up to his waist.  

Campbell sprung to her feet, but didn’t have time to stop him, before she heard, “Fuck, it’s bloody freezing.”  

“No shit Sherlock, I would have told you. Let me fetch a blanket, or Joss would kill me if you get sick,” shouted Campbell. 

“I’m not Sherlock, he is,” he jokes as he points to Robert. Walking backwards, Tom rushed out of the water, his pants drenched up to his hips. On the beach, he didn’t wait too long until the woman came out of her tent with a plaid blanket and an authoritative look on her face.  

“Take your pants off, smart boy!” She commanded. “Or it will only get worse.”  

He yanked his cargo pants off, revealing wet Calvin Klein boxer shorts clung to his pert ass.  

“Wow Shakespeare, I thought you were going commando!,” exclaimed Robert.  

“I lied. I’m an actor. It’s not my fault that you are gullible enough to believe my rubbish. And by the way, it’s Lord Hiddleston for you, remember?” Tom smiled. 

Campbell still glaring at him with her bossy stare interrupted this exchange, “Sorry, your underwear needs to go, as well.” 

The guide didn’t really notice the knickers. But she saw the perfect outline of his cock, as it hung heavily to the right as the soaked fabric pressed to it. Cold water didn’t have any particular crude effect on it. Realizing that he had all eyes focused on him, Tom turned and bent to relieve himself of his waterlogged underwear. She took note that at this angle, his bum wasn’t unpleasant at all, it was like two ripe juicy apples over firm and athletic thighs. _‘Come on Campbell! Stay professional, will you!’_ She scolded herself.  

Taking stock of his predicament, he spun his head to face Campbell, and promptly got hold of himself, “Wow, look how fast you will get me out of my pants… Easy darling! I’m not that kind of guy. You have to invite me to dinner, first!” His cheeky smile betrayed how proud he was about his joke.  

Nevertheless, he seized the tartan, wrapping it around his waist and executed a strange dance to slide off his boxer shorts.   

“Ta-dah!” he shouted, waving his CK like a flag. He was rewarded by a round of applause.  

It was getting late and Renner was the last of the evening. “Campbell, truth or dare my dear? I don’t think you have ever picked dare.” He goaded her.   

“Okay, since I am the last to go, I will exit with a bang. Dare.” Campbell, wholly aware of what was going to happen next and she put on her game face. 

Renner elated when the word “dare” flowed from the beautiful woman. “I dare you to kiss Chris like he was the last man on Earth and you are starving.” 

She started to turn red and it wasn’t because she was feeling flushed. She gathered up her strength and released all of her pent-up anger on the guys. 

“Well, I might love to kiss Chris, but I am not going to, as that would not be fair for ‘Team Tom.’” 

Silence settled around the campfire, each man not sure what to do or say next. “Yes, boys. I know about the juvenile bet, and I am sorry to say that no one will be winning it. I hope you had a contingency for what would happen if neither of them won.” 

She tried to hide the tears that began to cloud her eyes, by lowering her head as she pushed herself off of the improvised rock bench. “Mark could you make sure the fire is out before you all head to bed. It has been a long day. Goodnight.”

TO BE CONTINUED...


	4. Plaid Shirts Off!

The ambiance around the campfire had turned rather chilly that Saturday night. With Campbell’s abrupt departure and her confession that, the whole time, she was aware of their childish kissing bet, the boys decided to also call it a night. Mark, ever the father figure, doused the campfire with a few buckets of water from the lake. While taking care of this task, he voiced his feelings to the group. 

“Shit, this evening ended spectacularly. Children, I think we need to make this up to Campbell. Let’s go to bed, wake up early and make her breakfast again, as well as clean and pack up the campsite.” 

Robert couldn’t help agreeing, “Yes boys, we really screwed the pooch on this one. Pickles didn’t deserve what we did.” He sounded remorseful. 

“Well, we can chock this up as a lesson learned.” Renner admitted with a curl of his plump lips.  “Let’s be on our best behavior tomorrow. We still have a whole day ahead of us.” 

“Unless, she decides to stop the trip and head back first thing in the morning,” Hemsworth added.  

“We need to apologize!” Tom and Chris said in unison, as they both came across as little boys caught with their hands in the cookie jar.   

The weather was in concordance with the mood of the camp. As the late evening concluded with a dark cloud hanging over them, a storm moved into the area. The rain clouds had started to gather and blanketed the black sky.  

An hour later, Chris and Tom couldn’t find sleep. They laid on their backs staring up at the inside of their tent.

“Dude, we were so brattish, we should man up and go apologize to Pickles,” Chris admitted into the chilly night air.   

“Yes. How would we feel if some smarmy boys did this to one of our sisters?” Tom tossed his question out into the cosmos.   

As if Mother Nature was adding in the lighting and soundtrack to the scene, the night sky lit up, and the rumble of thunder filled the space. It was as if the universe was in agreement, bringing Tom to laugh nervously, “Looks like Thor is displeased with the way the events went.” 

Just before Chris was about to retort, the sky opened up, and the rain came down in sheets that pelted the top of the tent. The wind gained strength and blew the sides of the tent so hard, causing water to leak through the fabric. Just as the men were starting to sit up, the roof bowed making the depression to quickly fill up with rainwater.

“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!” barked Chris, fidgeting in his sleeping bag. “Tom, it’s fucking raining inside.” 

“Thanks, Captain Obvious, I’ve noticed! Shit, my pants will never dry out, now.”  

“You moron, we … we will never be able to sleep. The tent has a hole.” Chris flailed his arms about.  

An outside voice shouted, “Boys, are you alright in there?”  

Tom hustled to the entrance and managed to open the zipper despite the structure menacing to fall on them. He discovered Mark’s head pointing out of another zippered door.  

“Visibly not, Science Bro! We have an emergency here. Our roof is sliced in two. And it’s raining inside. Massively!”  

Campbell emerged from her own shelter with an impermeable windbreaker over her pajamas. She slid into her shoes, without lacing them, and ran towards the damage under the heavy rain.  

“Oh my God! That’s what I call a hole! How did that happen? It should be impossible, I have checked the material myself. It shouldn’t break like that.”  

“Come on, Pickles, it’s not your fault. Accidents happen.” Tom’s British manner works to soothe her. 

The two boys were out of their sleeping bag, trying to put everything that could still be saved in their backpack. Four heads were now outside the two other tents, alarmed by the uproar. 

“Do you have another tent, or maybe the car?” worried Chris.  

“No, I don’t, sorry. And the car, you and Tom might have long legs, yet you will need a whole day to walk to reach it. You will have to seek shelter in someone’s else tent,” answered Campbell witnessing two little kids who just found out Santa Claus wasn’t real. 

“No way, they’re sleeping in here!” opposed RDJ, “Jeremy flops around like a fish on dry land. I would be surprised if I don’t get a black eye during the night.”   

“Eh hello!  You snore like a chainsaw!” retorted Jeremy.  

“We know Grumpy! You complained about it all day long. But guess what, so do you!” said his tent mate, hands pinned on his hips. 

Campbell, upset by their refusal, replied, “Sure, tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum, we understood! Thanks for your help.”   

And so, Hemsworth carried on, “I wouldn’t mind welcoming my brother, but we are already cramped Mark and I.”  

“Perhaps, they could go in your tent, Pickles,” suggested Mark already beginning to blush, knowing his suggestion seems inappropriate. “Yours is wider. And I am certain they will act like gentlemen.” He glares at the two younger men. “You have nothing to fear.” 

“Of course, we will! Won’t we, Tom?” Chris ensured. 

“Absolutely! We learned our lesson. No asinine bets anymore! And we will never disrespect you again! We are really sorry for our past behavior. That was extremely tactless and infantile of us,” Tom said earnestly. He looked pitiful drenched by the water dripping from his hair.  

“We are so ashamed!” echoed Chris holding his sleeping bag and napsack in his arms. He stood in the rain beside Tom, and he doesn’t appear much prouder. The woman couldn’t help contemplating two pairs of puppy eyes pleading for rescue.  

“Right, let’s move. It’s not like we have time to argue. It’s dark and freezing out there. So, hurry up into my tent!” She conceded. 

  

***  

Campbell found herself lying in her pajamas, surrounded by two half-naked men. Their wet clothes were hanging from the structure of the tent. She had opened her sleeping bag and collected blankets to build a warm bed for the three of them.  

She detected Chris shivering next to her. “Are you OK, Chris?”  

“Yes, I’m fine. I am just a bit cold.” He answered, trying to sound brave.  

“Frankly, so… Am I!” Stuttered Tom between chattering teeth.  

“OK guys! But this does not leave this tent, don’t ever tell anyone about this. You will need to remove your damp clothes and snuggle around me to help build our body heat.” She commanded in a hushed tone.  

Sitting up on the inflatable mattress, she removed her pajamas, down to her cotton bra and panties, and laid back in the middle of the makeshift bed. Both men were so frostbitten that they didn’t overthink, and hastily divested themselves of their boxers. Chris cupped the woman and squeezed his legs and well-defined abdomen against her back. He then wrapped his arms around her. 

Tom still felt a little hesitant as he crossed his arms bent against him. He was dragged towards the girl who encircled his body and rubbed his back with her palm to warm him up. He glided his feet between hers, searching for more heat.

On the outside, the rain was pouring down, beating the roof like the sky was going to collapse. However, in the tent, this muffling noise couldn’t cover the sound of breaths getting heavier. The awkward situation should have been uncomfortable, yet Campbell felt safe and sensed pleasing flutters under her skin.  

Chris’s contact became lighter and more tactile. And the sensation of Tom’s arms crossed right between her breasts cleared her mind to wonder down a sensual path. Although, the two men didn’t dare to move, something between them had obviously changed. She could feel swelling bulges against her body. Yet she said nothing and remained motionless. 

In the darkness of the tent, lightning strikes allowed her vision to accommodate. She could distinguish silhouettes lying next to her. Her sight was caught by sparkling icy-blue eyes staring at her. They peered at her as they were seeing through her with an amazing kindness and attention. She let herself drown in the watery blue gaze of Tom. Tentatively, she caressed his lips with her thumb, absorbed by the sweetness of the moment.  

Tom began to brush his lips against this finger and slowly kissed it, small kisses, becoming bolder as he tenderly licked it with the tip of his tongue and gently suctioned it into his warm welcoming mouth.  

At this time another thumb was budging too. Chris’s finger delicately grazed her belly, repetitively, causing goosebumps.  

“Wait!” Campbell exhaled.  

“Sorry!” Said Chris who was instantly followed by Tom. “I am sorry, too.”  

They both ceased to move, suddenly figuring out that they had the same intention, and that could have put Campbell ill-at-ease.  

“Listen, you seem to be really nice guys, despite the whole immature bet. I like you both. But right now, everything is blurred in my mind,” She murmured, her heart pounding in her chest.   

“We understand,” whispered Chris, “But let us make amends.”  

“Yes, let us worship you.” The English man added to the American man’s proposal. Then he lingered. 

“Let the three of us live this moment, one night only,” offered Tom with a serious twinkle in his eyes. 

“Nothing will leave this tent, ever. It will be our secret, our own memory,” concluded Chris, who boldly placed tiny kisses on her shoulder.  

As she didn’t stop him, he tightened his hold around her, and locked his full plump lips on the curve of her neck. While, Tom slipped his hands into her hair, stroking her silky brown curls, before catching her lower lip between his thin strong mouth. Leisurely his tongue and lips danced on her mouth, searching for the tip of her tongue.   

Every fear and tension she had felt, vanished, and she relished this new sensation that they offered. Her hands wandered on Tom’s torso, his soft almost hairless chest. Her fingers chiseled, one by one, each muscle of his abs. He was slender, but well-defined, which was more than she expected.  

On his side, Chris caressed her belly with his thumb again, but nimbly used his other fingers to progress down. Enabling his index to slide underneath her panties, he found her clit and circled it, provoking waves of pleasure building inside her core. She purred like a kitten, enjoying the sensations and authorized herself to give into the bliss the two men were bestowing onto her. At this rate this cat was soon going to get wild. She sensed Chris’s cock between her butt cheeks tempting to make a path to rest there.  

Being worshiped by two beautiful men, she grew bold. One of her hands stood steadily against Tom’s chest as the other roamed down. She wanted to grasp his length, to check what she had suspected after his unpredicted swim. From that moment, she had fantasized about holding it in her palms, feeling it, and stroking it. Tom sharply inhaled. She modeled her movements on Chris’s pace. Imperceptibly, gingerly, her hips swayed. She drew the Brit closer against her with one leg wrapped around his thigh. She rocked back and forth, allowing Chris’s shaft to glide smoothly between her covered cheeks.   

For a while, they remained entangled. Only their breaths could have betrayed them. But rain and loud snoring from the other tents preserved their secrecy. Sometime later, Chris ended his sensual caresses, unfasten Campbell’s bra and rolled her on her back. Her eyes shifted briefly between the two men. They both peered at her with the same lusty eyes, blue and bright. She faced Chris and sought for his mouth. In turn, he was able to give her marvelous hungry kisses. First, he brushed her lips with her wetness remaining on his fingers, leaving her sweetness on her mouth, before tasting her.  

Under the blanket, the men’s fingers met, and they realized what they had to do. Two different hands cupped each of her breasts. Tom’s formidable hand was lithe and gentle. His index ringed her tensed nipple and played. Chris’s large palm kneaded her strongly, he pinched her nipple between two fingers and lightly twirled. Each hand was tantalizing, each touch was a ravishment.  

Tom left Chris’s expert hands taking care of Campbell breasts, as he traced his path to her core, slipped his hand beneath her panties and caressed her slit. She was drenched already, Chris had done a wonderful performance. She gasped and parted her legs enveloping each guy’s knees. Not once did she let go of Tom’s cock. She renewed to stroke it, but as she found Chris’s, with her other hand, she applied the identical motion on his side. Where Tom’s penis was oversized, Chris was slightly shorter, yet broader. One after the other, they kissed her, never leaving her lips or her neck in peace. They sometimes kissed the corner of her mouth simultaneously, scraping their tongues against hers. Their scents blended, creating a unique fragrance from tangerine and red pepper. Their tastes infused to explode in her mind.  

She felt Tom’s middle finger ambling further into her pussy, mapping her entrance and penetrating her. She bulked and arched her back. Her grip on their cocks closed. As Chris’s instinct comprehended what she was enduring, he joined Tom’s hand and teased her clit with his finger same as he did before.  

Pleasure climbed under the shelter. Husky English groans and jerky Bostonian exhales echoed each of her begging. Nobody could have determined who was leading. First one finger, then two rubbed her inner walls. With every wave of ecstasy, firmer strokes and faster caresses broke through. Sensitive spots were revealed. And they came undone, one by one, unashamed, in secret.  

TO BE CONTINUED...


	5. Plaid Shirts’ Invasion

The previous night, they fell asleep together, exhausted. As Campbell woke early that morning, they were still entwined. She managed to free herself without disturbing the men’s slumber, and exited the tent with her clothes against her chest. She hastily dressed and decided to prepare the fire. She wasn’t herself this Sunday. Last night has been peculiar, magical, yet so much different than her usual nature. She never imagined she could be able to do that kind of thing. Something tells her that neither of her lovers was familiar with this either.  

Regardless, she had been terribly unprofessional. Of course, she liked them both, despite the bet. She found them seriously charming. Yet, they looked so different. Chris was built like a brick house. He was funny and very caring, a typical American boy, that you could introduce to your mom. Whereas Tom was athletic and svelte, his intelligence, his kindness and his sexy accent portrayed him as the irresistible stranger. Maybe they had tried to seduce her during the whole weekend, but they had behaved like adorable men.  

How could she have been led so far? Definitely, she must have pitied them when they were soggy with a broken tent and pleading eyes. Without any doubt, she had pitied them when they were freezing and shaking under the blanket. What did she expect as she laid with two Greek gods? Their bodies betrayed them, her body took control over her mind and she let go. However, this moment had been passionate, even breathtaking, she couldn’t find the appropriate word. She didn’t regret anything unless they can’t keep a secret. Yet, she was confident that they would. 

Lost in her thought, she was finishing preparing the breakfast as the first team member got out of his tent. Progressively, everyone headed towards the fire and sat on the rocks eager to have a warm cup of coffee. They were all starving.  

“Pickles, why didn’t you wake us up? We wanted to serve your breakfast again. We needed to apologize for our behavior  with you.” Mark announced,  deposing a comforting hand on her arm. 

“Thank you, Mark. I have put this whole episode far behind me, and so should you all.” She pours another cup of coffee and hands it to him.  

“Besides, I am used to waking up before the sunrise to arrange breakfast for my guests. I know you boys were in need of sleep. You had two exhausting days and still one left to go.”   

“Speaking of sleep, did you sleep well, in spite of the two boisterous kids?” asked RDJ as he scratched his bed-head hair as he ambled up to the duo.

“Yes, like a log.” She skillfully avoided what indeed happened.   

Thankfully, before she could be pressed for more information, four huge black motorbikes with burly, plaid-clad men on them, skidded to a halt on the gravel pathway.   

“What in the hell…” Campbell mumbled under her breath as she took in her four older brothers strutting towards the campfire like they owned the place.   

“Jesus, it is the four-horseman-of-the-Apocalypse" RDJ whispered just under his breath as the gigantic, rugged men stopped in front of them.

“Hey, ‘Cup-O-Soup,’ you are looking well. Glad to see you survived the storm last night.” Brock, the largest of the men, spoke his concern with a booming voice. 

The young, pretty guide smirked at the intruders, “Wait, you’re checking up on me? I am not a baby, I can handle myself and my charges.” She took on a defensive stance. “Hold on, is Dad aware you boys are here?” She said as she crossed her arms over her voluptuous breasts, and schooling her face into one that meant business. Seeing her opposing posture, the four gigantic guys stopped dead in their tracks, upon hearing the word “Dad” surging from her lips. 

“Noodles, we just wished to make sure you’re OK, honest. Just showing you some brotherly love, that’s all.” Rocky, the shortest of the boys held his hands up in surrender. At this exact moment, Tom and Chris catching the ruckus outside left the comfort of the love nest to investigate. 

The brothers took notice of not one, but two men exiting their sister’s tent.   

“What the fuck is going on here?” They growled in unison, while pointing to the two actors walking towards them.   

Campbell turned to see her lovers and rest of the Marvel boys filing out of the tents, making a b-line right for the sea of men in flannel.   

Flustered at the sight of the two men she shared her bed with approaching, as well as her four brothers standing mere twenty feet from them, she launched into her dominant, forceful, badass-survivalist-guide-mode. Shifting her arms from under her breasts to her hips, she raised her voice and directed it at the boys she grew up with. 

“You still did not answer my question, so I shall repeat it. Does DAD know you boys are here?” She demanded and made sure she emphasized the word DAD. 

Before any of the brothers could reply, Jeremy interfered. “What’s all the commotion out here, some of us are still trying to sleep.” He walked up to the cluster of men in plaid, “And who do we have here?” 

Frustrated at the second interruption to her question, she barked out, “These four idiots are my older brothers, and they decided that it was their duty to check up on me. Since everyone is here, let me make the introductions.” Pointing at the four hulking males wrapped in flannel shirts, she continued. “The tallest, in the blue plaid shirt, is the oldest, Brock. Next, we have Jay, in green. The red shirt is Miller and lastly in the brown flannel we have Rocky.” 

Finding out the intruders to their camp were Campbell’s brothers, and the plaid invasion looked like they could take apart anyone that dare to hurt their beloved sister, Chris and Tom tensed up. Jeremy noticed them looking uncomfortable and decided to toss them into the fire.  

“Hey boys, how did you sleep last night? Did one of you, finally seal the deal, and get your kiss?” he ribbed them. 

“Of course not!” ruffled Chris caught like a rabbit in headlights.

“We were gentlemen!” added Tom.  

The two actors consulted each other with a guilty look. “And Jeremy, you perfectly know why!”   

Compelled to intervene and defuse the situation, ever the pacifier, Mark stepped in between the group, and piped up.   

“I am sure nothing happened, Chris and Tom may have acted like boys, but they would never take advantage of our Pickles.” 

“Hold on: Our Pickles.” The man in the red flannel questioned the term of endearment. “Just what in the hell is going on here, Campbell, you hate nicknames, and yet you allow six men you jus t met, grace you with one? What else did you allow them to do with…” he was cut off quickly by the six actors, all who jumped to defend their beautiful guide, each shouting out their rebuttals. 

“Nothing scandalous or nefarious happened, how dare you imply anything…”  

Campbell had had enough, she stormed up to her siblings, wagging her finger menacingly at them. “Listen here… I love you bonehead-dumb-asses to death, but if you ever question my work ethics or morals again, you will be removing my foot from your ass. Are you hearing me? And for the last time, did our father know you are checking on me? Or did he know that you boys are sneaking in on Marvel’s private business? I should have guessed you couldn’t resist to catch a glimpse on your favorite superheroes.”  

The four brothers looked at each other with culpable and discombobulated faces. The woman might be the youngest, but she had always been the brightest and the only one able to kick their asses. Miller ever the most virtuous admitted, “Well, we were worried about you and your clients. They are extremely important people, and we wouldn’t risk anything to happen to any of them, including our most beloved sister.”  

“I am the only one you have, dummy!” she blustered. “Everyone is fine. Everything is fine, except this tent which broke last night.” She pointed to the damage. “Yet, if you would excuse me, I still have a whole day of team building to mentor. So, go home!” 

She stared at the four boys, gesturing towards the way to return from where they had arrived, with a stern look.   

Showing off where he didn’t belong, Robert interrupted her and offered the men coffees. He wouldn’t lose this opportunity to learn more about the woman and her crazy craving stories.  

Miller spoke up, “It would be impolite to refuse, so yes, coffee it is!” They jumped on this wonderful occasion to meet Hollywood actors, and with giant smiles dashed to the rocks to sit around the fire.   

Campbell rolled her eyes and sighed. She wouldn’t get rid of them that easily. Clearly, they knew everyone names and felt comfortable. They were almost fangirling and posed inquisitorial questions.   

“Mark, you haven’t been in any previous MCU’s production. Who are you playing?” asked Brock.  

“Sorry, I am not allowed to  say. You’ll have to wait and see.”  Answered Mark who embarrassingly wriggled on his rock. He would have loved to reply, but collected all his strength to resist spilling the beans and thus breaking his NDA.  

“You will not learn anything from us, we are silent as a grave.” Tom added with a wide happy beam.  

“Really?” Brock leaned in towards the tall, British actor, “Then what pray tell, did happen with our sister?” Brock insisted, pointing to Chris and Tom with his chin. He wouldn’t let go a possible misunderstanding with Campbell.  

“Our tent was torn by the storm, and we had to seek shelter. But none of these schmucks agreed to let us in. Then, your sister was kind and professional enough to welcome us in. Nothing to worry about. We behaved like gentleman and respected her.” Chris stared at Brock, gazing directly into his eyes. He looked convincing as much as his acting skills allowed him to.  

“So you are Marvel fans?” Tom asked trying to change the subject.  

“Yeah!” four voices chorused, “Yeah…” echoed Campbell, shaking her head.  

Sitting around the fire, Jay put down his cup of coffee and started fidgeting. He lifted his green flannel shirt and withdraw a comic book hidden in his jeans, with a black marker.   

“No, you didn’t!” chortled Miller.  

“Yes, this is my favorite Avengers comic, would everyone mind signing it?” he said with a shy but proud smile.

“No, it wasn’t enough to come here unannounced, to humiliate me, you also have to do this!  You’re the worst brothers ever!” She was red with anger.

Obviously, Campbell wasn’t fond of her siblings’ presence, and Robert felt the need to protect her. He learned to cherish her and ran to rescue her.  

“Listen guys, we would sign your book with pleasure, if after that you leave your sis to complete her job. We still bank on her to bring us back to Santa Fe.”  

Jay passed them his comic and the pen, under the jealous eyes of his three brothers. After collecting everyone’s autograph, they greeted each other. They hugged their little sister, finally apologizing for their interruption and wishing her a good day. Rocky, Campbell’s closest sibling, embraced her and murmured into her ears.  

“I googled them.  Chris and Tom are single, maybe you should take your chance on one of them!”   

She couldn’t help but smile. She knew him well, and he didn’t mean any harm.   

“Uh-huh, OK, go back home now!”   

The “four horsemen of the Apocalypse,” as RDJ called them, straddled their motorbikes, and the woman started to breathe again. She suggested packing up and keep the day moving. They cleaned up the camp, with the damaged tent. They wouldn’t leave anything behind, not even the smallest candy wrapper. This woman encouraged them to have a strong respect for environment.  

That Sunday, they  didn’t notice how quickly the time passed by . Soon, they had the black Chevy in view, much sooner than they all wished. They might be relieved to sit and rest for a while, but they were even sadder to have to say goodbye in a few hours. Of course, they will see each other on set the next day, yet it wouldn’t be the same without their Lady-Boss. 

The ambiance in the car, on the way back, was curiously very silent.  They each seemed totally burned out. Tom and Chris spent the ride in the backseats w ith their head glued to the window, their eyes lost into the vast landscape. RDJ managed to catch the front seat, as true leader merit. However, he wasn’t much more talkative and consulted his messages on his cellphone. Hemsworth took this opportunity to text his wife. Jeremy was motionless in the back. He was too scared to wake up Mark, who dozed on his shoulder. He didn’t miss checking on him from time to time. He wouldn’t want him to drool on his plaid shirt.  

In the parking lot of Albuquerque Studios, the sun started to set behind the buildings. Their packsacks in hands, the moment for goodbyes had regrettably turned up. They would all keep on with their life, Campbell on her own.   

“Listen Pickles, it was such a pleasure to spend this weekend with you. You are a marvelous woman, powerful enough to withstand six dickheads like us. Andy Warhol should have painted your face and not a stupid can of Campbell’s Tomato soup, now that would be art!” said Robert suddenly a bit emotional.  

“I think I could tell that none of us will forget you,” added Mark. “Thank you for everything, Campbell! Please, don’t take it wrong, but can I hug you?”  

“Come here, Dad!” She let Mark wrapped his arms around her and firmly hold her against his chest. “I was happy to meet you Mark. I was happy meeting all of you.”  

RDJ drew her close to him too, “Take care of you, will you, Campbell?”   

“I will Grand-Pa!”  

Jeremy waited for his turn, and also hugged her tight. “Thank you, Campbell to have supported my complaints.”  

“You are welcome, Legolas!” She smiled.  

“The day you’d fancy visiting Byron Bay in Australia, call me. I would be your guide for a change!” said a cuddling Hemsworth with his chin above her head. 

“I will remember that, Point Break!” She knocked him on his shoulder.  

Chris and Tom were more reserved, they didn’t dare to take her in their arms. However, the stare of the other compelled them to imitate them. Chris caught her against him, as an old pal would do and tapped her on her back. “Thanks for everything, Campbell!” 

“You are welcome, Captain.” She locked her eyes on him.  

“Yes, thank you so much for everything!” added Tom, who tenderly cradled her.  

“No thank you, Shakespeare!” she quietly said. “Thank you all, for the weekend and your high-spirit. You are a wonderful team.”  

“Come on!” Exclaimed RDJ, “It’s the appropriate time for a group hug!”   

The six men found themselves towering over the petite woman and crushing her as they were six new brothers. “Avengers Assemble!” they shouted.   

“Avengers assemble!” she repeated.  

“Yeah, Pickles is one of us!” cheered RDJ.  

***  

That night, Campell tumbled on her bed with the memory of the men holding back some tears when they left, trying to make figures by telling some more jokes to appear like adults, big childish adults. But her brain briskly went to other kinds of remembrance. The souvenir of four hands caressing her under a tent, of soft kisses and pleasure. She fell asleep with a smile on her lips, and dozed up until late the next morning.   

Dragging herself through the office door, she knew she was late, but everyone tolerated a delayed arrival after three days of hiking. She met Rocky with his old brown shirt on the front porch of Goode’s Adventures and Travel Shop. 

“Hello, Noodles! Did you have a good weekend?” He asked with a strangely insistent voice. “I want you to tell me everything later. But I have an appointment right now.” He combed his blond hair back with his hands before putting on his helmet.  

Brock was at the reception desk bragging before two cute tourists. He had rolled up his sleeved and unbuttoned the top of his blue flannel shirt. This was effective on the two young women. Well, who would resist this tall dark-hair guy? His suntan even enlightened his blue eyes. Although, Campbell had to admit her four brothers were all highly attractive, she had never considered flirting with one of her clients, until now, apparently.  

“Hello Cup-O-Soup!” He said winking at her.  

Why did they act like bananas, today? Never mind, it’s not the last time that these four baboons would behave like wackos. First, she needed a coffee and decided to grab one in the lounge. She found Miller and Jay sitting at the table with a cuppa on their own.   

“Hello, Pickles!” said Miller repetitively raising his eyebrows.  

“What do you all have today?” sharply inquired Campbell.  

“Us? Absolutely nothing … Pickles!” Answered a falsely innocent Jay.  

“Well, maybe… Who do you prefer? Tom or Chris?” asked Miller.  

“Oh, shut up! It’s none of your business!”  

“We want to know. Brock and Rocky think you like Tom, but Miller and I have bet a hundred bucks on Chris!”    

“OK, let’s be clear once and for all! Don’t ever set a bet on me again! My potential love life is out of your reach. And don’t put a gamble on a girl, as you, jackasses will for sure lose ever time! The Goode’s brothers should be better than that. As you mentioned Pickles, I do not like nicknames, not even this one! It’s a thing to allow strangers to call me that for three days, if that could make their trip happier. But you are four grown men and should behave as such! My name is Campbell, C. A. M. P. B. E. L. L. Do you understand? Secondly, my car is full of crap from this weekend. As you are two big strong guys, I let you do the honor and unload it and clean the equipment!”  

“Really?” asked the green plaid shirt with despair.  

“Yep! You own me that, for the endless jokes, and for embarrassing me yesterday when you showed up!”  

Annoyed at being spoken to that way by their sister, they rapidly finished their drinks, stood up and went to leave. But before they got to the door, Campbell burst out with, “Oh, and by the way, you may want to know that RDJ dubbed you with a nick-name as well. He and all of the Marvel Men are calling you the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse.”  Smiling to herself as she was able to get in the last word, as she grabbed her coffee and left the lounge.

Heading to her office, with her fresh cup of morning joe, she stopped dead in her tracks, as she pushed the door open, she noticed two flower arrangements displayed in a bucket on her desk. The bouquets were identical, a couple of dozen bright red tulips with an envelope hidden in each of them. She didn’t detect any resistance when enfolding them, as they were not glued correctly, or as if four dummies had tried to unseal them above a boiling kettle.   

She could hear Chris’s Bostonian pronunciation and Tom’s English accent when she read their message. They both thanked her for the weekend and asked her for a date. Tom was slightly more lyrical in his choice of words, yet his handwriting was messier. She would definitely accept one of these invitations, but she would keep this a secret as long as possible!

In the end, she would yield to the flannel shirt attraction. 

THE END 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you want to read another writing joint venture by DeathByUKMen and TomKurbikston, follow the link to "Dogs Know Best" here:
> 
> https://archiveofourown.org/works/15816081/chapters/36817374


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